@Reality vs dream- 2

When I knew she had a boy friend, my mind didn't accept the fact. It showed some inertia from the feeling that she was still mine... a heart breaking wave of thunder would have been there I thought. First started seeing a series of scraps and testimonials in her orkut page. I hoped for the best every time, I saw it. When ever the thought of the freedom the guy taking on her, felt like to challenge the guy at any cost.But later, I thought that it is the matter of heart and, surely I would get what I deserved. I tried to keep my cool. But I wanted only one thing. I love her and if she loves me back the same amount, I would surely get her at any cost, with full belief in god. I tried many times to talk/chat with her. She humbly rejected/neglected. So I start realizing that she does love that guy...while praying that..let that not be the truth....the desperation has solidified and it has become a feeling of neutrality, a kind of imotionlessness. Really i didn't want to be like that, at any cost. Hoping for the best to happen...

@Reality vs dream

When did I saw her for the first time? Don't remember exactly...when I saw her for the first time within my memory's boundary, I had felt like I have seen her before. Somehow that face was in my heart. It seemed that she needs my attention,my care and I need her the same way,if not more. I promised everything in my heart. Not even the surrounding air knew about it. But I wanted to tell the whole world about my promise. Before that, it is my responsibility to know whether I am the person she needs and she is the one whom I need in a pure brain process. If heart is consulted, there is only one answer.
I got many opportunities to meet her by god's grace. Everything seemed so neatly organized. I just needed to play my part. Was so much happy whenever I meet her, whenever I could talk to her. I read her eyes every bit,full of hope, whenever I got a look at her face. I found myself chasing her whenever such meeting took place. She seemed to know my intentions, the thought of which gave me immense pleasure. I felt proud of my responsibility and care for her.
I used every opportunity to get in touch with her. Through emails and so on. She ignored some of them, but never broke her courtesy while dealing with me. I seemed accepting her whatever she is and after all it is her personal freedom to reject me,if she wishes so. I begin teaching my mind to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. It is during some of the Reality vs dream situations that we go behind such principles and philosophies, thinking there is no other way. But this time, I had a lot of belief in almighty. With full belief in god, I thought of her in my days and nights.
..........story does n't end here...its going on and on......

അറിയുന്നുവോ നീയെനിക്കെത്ര പ്രിയന്കരി എത്ര മനസ്വിനി!!!
അറിയുന്നുവോ നീയെന്‍ ഹൃദയ കല്ലോലിനി തന്‍ മൃദു ഗീതവും
അറിയില്ലെനിക്കേതും നിന്നകത്താരിനീണവും താളവും
എങ്കിലും പ്രിയേ ന്ഹാനേകട്ടെയെന്‍ സ്നേഹ പ്രതീക്ഷകള്‍